


The Way I Feel Inside

by Highsmith (quimtessence)



Category: Atomic Blonde (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bathing/Washing, Canon Queer Character of Color, Character Death Fix, Character Study, Cunnilingus, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, First Meetings, Fix-It, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, Oral Sex, Unreliable Narrator, Yuletide 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:02:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28148028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quimtessence/pseuds/Highsmith
Summary: What if Lorraine went home with Delphine after that first night at the bar? A little extra time can change a whole lot.
Relationships: Lorraine Broughton/Delphine Lasalle
Comments: 9
Kudos: 39
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	The Way I Feel Inside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jillyfae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillyfae/gifts).



> Title from The Zombies.

She shouldn't remain at the bar, and, in the future, she knows she won't be reporting this... lapse. Or, most likely, not in this way and not with this level of detail. There's no reason to. It's inconsequential. She might as well fudge the time, the day, the exchange.

Lorraine stays.

As far as she can recall, the rest of the night ends with an increasingly boisterous crowd's mumbled conversations enveloping them, nothing much of import happening one way or another, even though it's Delphine's smile that's got her entire focus and that might be influencing her perception. The soft lights should make everything hazy, but it's all sharp and focused.

Lorraine's hotel room is supposed to be safe, but she's playing a hand here, she's taking a risk. Maybe not the best idea she's ever had, but sometimes you've got to take risks because otherwise it's all for nothing.

If she's talking herself into it, then so be it.

After they arrive, they mostly mumble things to each other, occupied with each other's mouths more than anything else. Well. For the moment. It quickly turns to clothes being flung off and stammering their way into asking relevant questions which don't amount to much more than to Delphine ending up half-naked at the edge of Lorraine's bed with Lorraine's head between her legs. Licking and sucking to her heart's content is her preferred way of spending an evening, she's not going to lie, not when it's a wet cunt beneath her mouth, and Delphine makes the most appreciative noises when Lorraine hits on a particularly good touch in a very good spot. Almost doesn't even need her fingers the first time, Delphine's leg kicking out and the wetness beneath Lorraine's tongue signaling she's not at all disagreeable with this turn of events.

Eventually, Lorraine does get undressed herself and gets Delphine out of everything. Beings her a glass of water and gets a shot of vodka for herself, and then they smoke side by side on the bed, at one point Lorraine getting up to put some music on because might as well set the mood or whatever the fuck.

She eats Delphine out once more before she returns the favour, and, afterwards, they trade lazy kisses. Delphine's much more of a tease, though Lorraine realises she's just softer about it, much more so than Lorraine, but, when pressed hours later, after actual food and a bit of wine, she gets a bit rougher, and Lorraine appreciates it and takes another turn at sucking on her clit until she's making noises in the back of her throat without much respite or idea whether she's going to come or have some sort of fit.

They shouldn't sleep. Or, more accurately, _Lorraine_ should not sleep. There is no trust won by making each other tender and soft. Lorraine wishes that were the case.

(There is a voice inside her head telling her that's exactly what happened with _him_. She let her guard down. And it wasn't worth it, either for him or for her, and repeating mistakes isn't her way of doing things.)

They smoke some more and Lorrain gets up to brush her teeth. Delphine joins her. It's oddly domestic, but it's not an offence. She has another travel toothbrush, courtesy of the hotel. Delphine takes it and they stand there next to each other at the sink, naked because why the fuck not.

Afterwards, it's Lorraine who fills the tub. But she doesn't invite Delphine in. That's all on her. She does, though, and Lorraine opens her legs wider to let her sit between them. Her arms all on their own encircle her, but the water is hot and Delphine is a warm shadow against her front.

They do eventually wash, and somehow Lorraine ends up with her back to Delphine's chest. She lights up a cigarette for them to share while she asks, "What now?"

"Well, this was unexpected." Delphine's breath puffs into her hair, which is wet at the edges, her scalp oddly sensitive.

"Was it?" She doesn't think she sounds accusatory, but she does soften it by offering Delphine a drag after she takes another one herself.

"Uh huh. Entirely."

Even if it's a trap, Lorraine has to admit it's not one which had a high rate of success however you throw it, and, well, she's been throwing it in every direction since the night started. She has too many thoughts inside her own head.

They sleep afterwards, which is as shocking as it is completely unsurprising because Lorraine is not the worst judge of character. She makes mistakes. She's made enough of them, she knows, but, still, she's professional and good at her job, and her instincts generally don't fail her. There's no reason for them to do so now, other than the fact that she's uncomfortably content.

Sleep is good.

(She, of course, won't tell it like this. She has no reason to. It's entirely pointless and doesn't, in the end, have any bearing on the outcome. Only her actions do; did. So, perhaps, only indirectly. Because, somehow, despite it all, Lorraine still has some principles somewhere that don't get conflated with her job and her country. If they make her a liability, it's only to the extent of how much she's willing to give. But she still gives. She's still loyal. That can never truly change. It's part of the train of fear inside her. It may be different now with Delphine nearby, with this new life, but there's always going to be the fear. It's not unwarranted, but she despises it anyway. And, well, her principles, as much as they exist, are still self-serving. It is what it is, but they're both alive, which is more than can be said for some other bastards involved in all of this.)

She wakes in the night, or sooner to morning than not at that point, but her arms are around Delphine, and her weight is warm against her, and there's no real reason to move or not to fall back asleep. She has a feeling the next day won't be kind to either of them. They both need some kindness, otherwise what's even the point anymore?

Someone should get some sort of happy ending here. And it might as well be them.

**Author's Note:**

> ETA 2021/01/01 My Tumblr: [rhubarbdreams](https://rhubarbdreams.tumblr.com/)


End file.
